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To Yahoo Or Not To Yahoo (A humorous skit from a series called "Brief Encounters") By Hal Wickliffe Copyright 2000 Hal Wickliffe

A skit about misunderstandings between Bill and his wife Kathy, at the psychiatrist's office.

Bill and Kathy Gibson, a troubled young married couple, enter the office of the experienced and distinguished marriage counselor, Sebastian Schwartz. SCHWARTZ: Yes, what Is your problem? BILL: It's my wife. She no longer wants to yahoo. SCHWARTZ: (SOLEMNLY) I see. And is this true, Kathy, that you no longer wish to yahoo? KATHY: (FIRMLY) Yes. SCHWARTZ: Hmm. This is most serious. In all my years of practice, I’ve never had such a case. Very interesting. BILL: (HURTFULLY) We can't go on like this much longer. It's ruining our marriage! (STARTS TO CRY) SCHWARTZ: Now please don't cry, Bill. I'm here to help. Have no fear. You're in good hands. Now tell me, Kathy -about how long have you two had this particular dilemma? KATHY: Since the very first day of our marriage six months ago. But now it's gotten worse. He wants to yahoo three times a week. I can't take it much longer! BILL: And what about me! I can't sleep! I can't eat! It's drivin' me crazy! I've gotta have my yahoo! Please, the both of you. SCHWARTZ: Please, the both of you. Just try to relax. There's no need to get all worked up. I’m here to help. Now, Kathy, may I ask why you're so reluctant to yahoo? KATHY: I'll tell you exactly why. It's just plain stupid! BILL: (RESENTFULLY) Stupid! How dare you say that! We've yahood for two straight years and had a wonderful time! Why shouldn't we keep on yahooing? KATHY: Because enough is enough. I want to settle down. BILL: Settle down! What am I - an old fogey! I’m only twenty-five. There’s plenty of yahooing in me for ten more years. It's in my blood. KATHY: I don’t care. My mind is made up. There'll be no more yahooing! I've had all I can stand! SCHWARTZ: Now take it easy, Bill and Kathy. I'm sure, as reasonable adults, we can come to some kind of satisfactory solution. Now, Kathy, you're very young and seem full of life. Can you fully explain you feel yahooing is so stupid? KATHY: It's my condition. SCHWARTZ: Condition? What condition? KATHY: I learned last week that I'm pregnant. BILL: (SHOCKED) What! You didn't tell me you were pregnant! KATHY: Well, I’m telling you now. BILL: (CALMING DOWN) That’s a different story. SCHWARTZ: (QUITE PLEASED) Good. Then that looks like the problem is solved. Don’t you agree, Bill? BILL: Of course I agree. From now on, I’ll yahoo without her.