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Uriah's Revenge
(with apologies to Robert Derrick)
By Patrick Benson
Copyright 2000 Patrick Benson
 Note: The poem is based on the biblical story of King David, Uriah the Hittite (a great fighter in David's army) and Uriah's wife Bathsheba. The poem is Patrick's idea of how a modern Uriah might seek revenge for what David did to him.


Whenas in silks my Regina slips
In through the swinging door,
My office mates, a ribald lot,
Concealing hands below their desks,
Semaphore the ancient finger
Signs for cuckoldry and sex,
Heads swiveling side to side as they
Watch her, cat-like, swish and sway
As she goes, in the liquefaction
Of her clothes, down the center aisle.
Occasionally they glance at me,
Eyes dance with curiosity,
Then I swivel too, and keep my back to her.

What need have I to watch her clothed
When every morn I can see her emerge
Like naked Venus Anadyomene
(not from the sea, this Anno Domini)
From the shower, rivulets running down
Long black tresses over her full breasts?

Yesterday the office comedy
Played itself again
As I read her husband's
Latest maundering from Iran.
"Dave," he wrote, "herewith, my hebdomadal piece.
"I know it's sophomoric dreck, but hope
"Your clever pen transforms it to
"Something worth the munificent check
"I welcome every week ......
My very words to her three nights ago.

Confronted, she blusters, then finally weeps.
"Yes," she says, "yes, he knows you sent him there.
"So we can sleep together.
"The whole office knows,
"But he doesn't care whether
"They talk or not as long as you pay.
"But I care," she says, "and I'm caught
"By a frightening thought: .....
"Please say you'll never leave me?"